The Heavy Heart…(originally written & emailed to my database on December 23, 2011)
Perhaps right now, your heart is aching. You may be facing great uncertainty in your life, your finances, your marriage, health, or career. Your circumstances may find you currently out of work or behind on your bills. You may be feeling lonely and unloved. Or you feel overwhelmed and frazzled and Christmas has become one more source of stress versus joy.
If I may, I’d like to speak directly to the heavy hearted this Christmas season. Last night as I was going to bed, I had the clear impression and inspiration to write this email. I thought it interesting considering it wasn’t planned nor the traditional holiday wishes. Yet, it was clear and inspired so here it is.
I too know what it’s like to have a Christmas where your heart is breaking. Where you feel so alone, scared, unsure, or simply without the joy of Christmas in your heart. Years ago at Christmas, I found my marriage in shambles and my heart broken. As one who typically loves the holidays with great passion, that year I couldn’t wait for December 26th to get here. I was sad, scared, and really unsure of where my life was going. Yet in the midst of that darkness, there were many glimmers of hope and light from God, angels, and dear family and friends – if I chose to see them. It was a time of great seeking and searching to know what to do, where to turn, and what choices to make. And in that searching, I did experience many choice spiritual experiences that touched my heart in a profound way.
Although I may not know the details of what you’re going through, I do know the following truths apply to you, your life and potential, and what is available to you.
- You are never alone. Ever. No matter what it “feels” like, you are not alone. You have a Maker who knows you and your needs and who loves and cares for you. You are always surrounded by LOVE and you are being watched over.
- God/Universe/Angels wait to assist you to guide your path and your decisions. They can never force anything so it is up to us to ask for their divine help and direction. They are always available, no matter where you’re at or the struggles you’re facing.
- From our greatest struggles can come our greatest strengths. There are lessons within your challenges. Go to meditation, prayer, or reflection and ask yourself, “What is this here to teach me? What is the gift of this?” As Napoleon Hill once taught, “With every adversity is the seed of greater opportunity.” There are gems for you where you are right now, even if you can’t see them just yet.
- Focus on what you are grateful for right now, no matter how small it may seem. Gratitude changes our heart and our mindset. It helps us to see the bright, glimmers of hope and goodness and in doing so, it can help your heavy heart feel lighter.
- “The best way to heal a broken heart is to serve others.” I heard this advice in the thick of my heavy hearted season. It was simple, true, and profound for me. It’s been said that when we lift others, we lift ourselves. I find this to be true. Reach out to someone else – offer a compliment, offer to help, buy their coffee in line, or some other gesture that serves someone else. When we focus on helping others, we do help ourselves.
- Finally, increase your self care. Watch your favorite movie or cuddle up with a good book. Take a hot bath or make your favorite treat. Increase doing kind things for yourself that bring you joy or happiness. When our hearts our heavy, it’s important to be kind and loving towards ourselves.
The true spirit of Christmas or the spirit of the Season as you may say, is about a special feeling, about love, about a certain attitude more than it is about anything external. If you look for it, through the darkness and sadness you may be feeling right now, there are embers of hope, love, and peace within.
I promise you that LIFE has great things in store for you. I promise you that you will not always feel so heavy hearted. I promise you that your Maker is with you, even now, to comfort you and guide your steps. There will be seasons of joy for you.
If this speaks to you, if this was written for you, I send a prayer for you with this email that you may feel hope and love within these words and within your heart this day.
Bless you, sweet warrior. You have what it takes to prevail and you will get through whatever you’re facing.
With great love for you,
I had one of those “heart & soul” moments last night. It was brief and simple, yet powerful.
I was running errands and it was later in the evening so it was already dark and cold.
As I came to an intersection, a man was huddled up, approximately in his 30’s, holding a sign that said, “hungry.” A human being making a simple request. Now whether he is a professional pan handler or one who has fallen on rough times, is never my place to judge. He’s still a HUMAN BEING with very real needs. So the argument of giving or not giving money is not my point today. I rarely carry cash with me or I would of given this man some dollars.
What did happen was that I made eye contact with this man. And as I did so and he made eye contact with me, I nodded to him slightly as if I was saying, “I see you.” He nodded back as if he was saying, “I see you.”
It was two maybe three seconds long in timing, yet this simple exchange pierced my heart and soul.
It made me realize how many times in the past, because I didn’t have cash, that I avoided acknowledging this human life for I felt I could not help them in the request that they had. Last night I learned a different lesson – we all want to be SEEN. To be acknowledged that we are here, that we are HUMAN, and that we matter.
In this simple interaction, we acknowledged one another and that was powerful.
How often do I/we not see someone in front of us because they are “different” than ourselves? Or because it’s uncomfortable? Or perhaps it’s become complacent or ordinary? Whether it be the souls within our own homes or strangers on the street, are we SEEING one another? Are we acknowledging that very precious LIFE?
There is reason why it’s been penned, “The eyes are the windows to the SOUL.”
With love & gratitude,
Have you ever experienced that feeling or thought when things are going really well, that what if the shoe drops? In other words, now that things are going smoothly, where is the potential trouble going to come from?
I know I’ve been guilty of this myself.
It’s as if we don’t trust when things are going well, good, successful for us.
I love the thought provoking teaching from Gay Hendricks where he says, “How good can you stand it?” Meaning how much joy, success, and good stuff can you handle? That’s worthwhile to consider isn’t it? How good can you stand it?
I realized in a coaching session today that when we are living with that fear or anxiety, what is really happening are two things:
1. We are allowing that thought to take us out of the present moment by living future forward. When we feel guilt or regret, we are in the past. When we feel fear or anxiety about “what if’s” we are living in the future. In other words, not the PRESENT or real moment we actually have. Let’s return to this present moment and deal with what is, not what if or may be. The present is where our power is at.
2. According to Susan Jeffers, author of “Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway” she claims that under all fear is really the question, “What if I can’t handle it?” What if something bad happens (aka shoe drops!) and I can’t handle the loss, feelings, fear, humiliation, etc.?
Here’s the TRUTH – you will handle it. You always have. You are worthy and deserving of having great stuff in your life. And if you’re not used to the great stuff so it feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar, make a conscious decision to become comfortable. Repeat after me, “I allow myself to receive. I trust myself. I am worthy and deserving. I am capable to handle it.”
I am choosing to live in the present. I am choosing to become more and more comfortable with the good stuff – the JOY in this PRESENT moment.
Let’s do this together – will you join me?
Much love & gratitude,
How good can you stand it?!