This may sound counter intuitive, but one of my solid, savvy SALES strategies is excellent self care.
And it may sound even more odd to you that in the last two years since I’ve gotten serious about my own self care (which means I’ve also worked LESS time on my biz), I’ve actually experienced more success in business growth and sales income. Yes, it’s true. I’ve worked less and made more money. And had more fun doing it.
Becoming more “selfish” may be the sales advice you need.
Let me sum it up succinctly:
Success in sales at the foundation is fueled by your degree of self confidence. People like to buy from confident people – it shows leadership. How you feel about yourself (physically, mentally, emotionally) has a direct impact on your self confidence.
So in essence your self care = self confidence = influence on sales success.
Does that make sense?
Plus, when you are fried, burned out, exhausted, always on demand to everyone else’s needs, are you showing up as your best, most positive self?
I doubt it.
See, we’ve been taught that being selfish is bad and being selfless is good.
And while I’m not talking about the extremity of narcissism and only thinking of yourself 24/7. I am asking you to consider that for many of you reading this right now (yes, you!), you’re likely in need of a self care tune up.
Last week in my own study, I read the following from Randy Gage in his new book, “Risky is the New Safe.” It’s worth reading twice…
Isn’t that juicy?!
So I have a few coaching questions & assignments for you to consider to help you increase your self care and increase your sales:
- Begin your day with even 10 minutes of personal time for just you. Pray, meditate, stretch, read, or journal. Keep the noisy world (cell phones, lap tops) out of your first sacred 10 minutes. Get grounded with you.
- Take an inventory on a blank piece of paper or inside a journal of, “What makes me happy? or When am I the happiest?” Let it free flow. Pick one to do this week off that list.
- Create an evening routine that helps you unplug from the world and technology and reconnect to yourself. Take a hot bath, read a book, or drink a warm tea. Put yourself to bed in a nurturing way.
- Ask yourself this question, “If I were to take 5% more action towards better self care, I would _______” and journal the ideas that come up for you. Pick one habit over the next 30 days to implement regularly.
- Get outside. Time in nature has proven to be one of the most grounding and healthy habits for one’s mind and body. Whether it’s your back yard or climbing Everest and everything in between, more time in the fresh air will help you.
- BONUS…indulge yourself every once in awhile. Buy the shoes. Get a pedicure. Play that round of 9 holes. Whatever you usually wait to do until it’s your birthday, surprise yourself with a sweet indulging “Just Because” you exist!
When you are nurturing yourself with awesome self care and priority, you have so much more to give to others…plus you have more joy doing it!
Try this out this next month, okay? And let me know how it goes. I would love to see you increase your self care and your sales this month!
Cheering you on!
Are you setting yourself up for fun or failure?
Regardless of how or who you celebrate this holiday season, the holidays can become a source of stress versus joy all too easily.
To help you navigate and CREATE your ideal holiday season, I have a short video clip for you from a former television segment I did for my local NBC affiliate a few years ago. These nuggets and tips are as relevant today in helping you manage all the expectations, gatherings, and even help you say NO when needed this coming month.
Create more joy and less stress this season!
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.”
At some point in your studies or in your browsing of Facebook quotes, you’ve heard of the concept that what we focus on expands. Or in simple terms, we get more of what we give our attention to.
Have you ever noticed if you’re feeling bugged, annoyed, or simply blue, you can easily find more of those experiences to continue that feeling?
And the opposite is true too – when you’re feeling good, happy, grateful and excited about life that you can attract more of the feel good?
Gratitude is one of my favorite foundational success principles.
It cultivates happiness, contentment, and a positive personality that people want to be around.
It can also be the linchpin of creating success. A few years ago I was attending a business growth seminar by Brendon Burchard with 700 other people. David Bach, famous best selling author of all the financial education books such as The Automatic Millionaire, was an attendee in the audience. Brendon had David come up on stage for just a few minutes. Brendon asked David to sum up and share his number one success strategy. David’s response? “I’ve written down a few things each day that I’m grateful for and I believe that has made all the difference.” Of all the things he could say or express, he chose gratitude. It reinforced to me what already rang true in my heart.
Fostering an attitude of gratitude keeps us grounded to the good. It opens our eyes, hearts, and minds to possibilities. It helps us attract opportunities and cultivate positive relationships.
Now, it’s not always “easy” to do so, especially when life has served us up some form of struggle that is sucking up our attention – financial fears, relationship struggles, loneliness, health issues, or a myriad of other life “stuff” to navigate. However, if this is you right now, this principle is even more important for you. This could be the lifeline for you turning your situation around. Science and research has proved that our attitudes and disposition has a direct influence on our lives and our health.
Have you made a gratitude deposit lately?
Here are a few quick suggestions to get you in the flow and feeling better, happier, and more optimistic:
1.) Make a gratitude list. Simple enough write a list of the things you’re thankful for.
- You woke up today.
- You can read this email.
- You have a computer or mobile device; therefore
- you have great opportunities.
- Your health, relationships, your home, etc.
- Good books, nature, your faith
- And so on…
2.) Acknowledge someone else for what you’re grateful for in them. By appreciating others, you’re making a positive deposit that has a contagious effect on you.
3.) During the first few minutes that you awake and the last few minutes before going to sleep, say out loud or think in your thoughts the things you are grateful for. Our minds are most potent as we drift off to sleep and as we awake. Make gratitude your focus points to begin and complete your day.
This month I invite you to get swept up in the power of gratitude in your own life. Allow yourself to feel grateful, even for and especially with the little things that bring joy to your life. Be grateful for YOU and all that you’re striving for in your life. Your life makes a difference.
I am so grateful that we are connected. Your stories, sharing, and inspiring lives touches my heart and motivates me on my own path. Thank you for being willing to live your own unique path.
Cheering you on!
In my hometown, the season of Fall is in full bloom. The beautiful and bold yellow, reds, and orange leaves have made their debut. The temperatures have chilled off and the wool socks and hot cocoas are being gratefully enjoyed in my home. There are pumpkins on the porch and delicious Fall flavored candles lit each day.
One of my favorite quotes from Henry David Thoreau is this one:
“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of earth.”
I love Fall and everything about this season. (Can you tell?)
Seasons changing in our own lives is just as real as the changing of the seasons of the earth. The one constant in life is change and like the thought by Thoreau suggests, embrace each season as it comes.
Although change can tend to bring up fears and discomfort, what is really at play is embracing the uncertainty of the unknown – this is true whether your fear is of failure or of success. When we are leaving behind what is familiar and heading into unknown territory it’s common and normal for fear and second guessing to come forward for you to address.
I invite you to face the fear, walk through it, and you will see that you are stronger, more capable, and simply more fantastic than you previously knew.
Now, some changes come to us that are unwelcomed, unplanned for, and simply hurt. This could be loss in any form – loved ones, job, health, relationship, you name it. Loss is a grieving process of letting go of what once was in your life and/or relationships. I honor that sacred space and there is a need for grief and healing. If you’re in a major transition, please make sure to reach out and get support around you.
I do know that even with the greatest of heartaches, there are opportunities for growth and claiming of a new chapter of life. I have learned even in my own deepest heartaches in certain seasons of my life that even those heartbreaks contained powerful lessons for me to soak in.
Whether the change you’re facing this season is of a major magnitude or the smaller, move the needle type of changes, here are a few questions to help you navigate change:
- What is this here to teach me? What is the lesson of this experience?
- What’s the gift of this new season?
- Why am I resisting this change? What’s the fear really about? What if I could surrender versus struggle with this change?
- What would I rather experience or create in my life?
- What small change can I make today that with time will have the greatest influence?
I also find that activities like increased self care (exercise, rest, & nutrition) and surrounding ourselves with positive and loving people, books, or materials can help during the change process.
I would invite you to consider that change is also to be celebrated too, right? All to often we’re resisting change or in fear of it. Yet consider this, for many of you if your life was the exact same 10 years from today, you would be miserable! Change gives life a lot of juice, excitement, new adventure & discovery, and allows for even greater things, people, and opportunities to come to us. Change can get a bad rap, but it’s also that same change that gives you growth, meaning, purpose, and opportunities!
Consider this…just what if life was always working for your highest good? Hmmm….
Just what if we could trust a little more and doubt a little less?…of life, others, ourselves, etc.?
Just what if we could resign ourselves (surrender) to the season we are in, even if it’s painful and ouchy and scary and gleam the juicy gems and insights that are waiting to be seen?
Just what if change really does come bearing gifts?
I echo the classic sentiments expressed many years ago…
“To everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven.”
There is purpose to the season you are in. There are many things to be grateful for no matter what swirls around us. Embrace the changes you’re facing, allow them to teach you, and celebrate that life has great things in store for you (uncertainty wrapped in excitement).
“Change comes bearing gifts…” – Price Pritchett.
Cheers to you fellow traveler of change.
There are lots of things, events, and outcomes we cannot control –
and we can create a lot of drama, struggle, and misery in our lives trying to do so…
A few weeks ago I wrote a lengthy Facebook post (see image below) that contained my own personal aha and awareness for the life event that I was facing – competing in eWomen Network’s North America’s Next Greatest Speaker Contest in Dallas, Texas.
I had been selected as a Top Ten Finalist (thank you for voting for me!!!) amongst over 1,000 applications. Talk about humbled. And talk about the internal pressure that I felt at times to “perform”. I was definitely putting myself out there and even asking others to “judge” me and my heart so the emotions at times were ripe for the learning.
So in my preparing for this experience, early one morning I had this awareness that took my power back from the fear, the perfectionism, the outcome…I can only control how I SHOW UP – and how I choose to experience this or any experience.
In life at times, you will face heartache, struggle, and challenge.
Some times people will lie about you or betray you.
Or politics may win out.
Others may criticize you.
They may say “no” to your offer, services, or product.
Your book might be rejected 144 times before you get a yes.
Your date request denied.
You may not make the honor roll, get the lead in the play, or get into the school of your choice the first time around. Or second. Or third.
You may be passed up for the promotion.
You may not be included.
You might be ignored.
You may not hit the rank you want when you want.
__________ insert your own here.
There are many more scenarios that all lead to the same point:
You can’t control the outcome.
You can only control how you SHOW UP.
How do you choose to SHOW UP regardless of the outcome?
Here is the full post written in it’s own authentic, inspired form:
For me, there is great peace in focusing on the only thing I can always control, influence, or direct in my life: how I show up.
And like I said in my post, I choose to show up and play full out.
My heart on the line.
To give my best and the best service I can, whether they say yes or no.
So that’s the thought to ponder this week…in your life and in your experiences, how will you choose to show up?
There are many things, people, and outcomes we cannot control. We can influence yes, control, no. By muddling with trying to control the outcome, we create our own misery.
Our power, attention, and energy I find is best suited to be focused where the choice is 100% ours – with ourselves and how we choose to play the game of life being served right now.
Release the outcome.
And focus on showing up powerfully present, fully engaged, and loving no matter what.
That’s a life worth living… regardless of the outcome.
With great love & respect for your path,
Whether you’re attending a local one hour networking meeting to a full blown multi-day convention, attending live events is one of the best and quickest ways to grow your own business.
Networking meetings and live seminars are great for two obvious reasons:
- The seminar you’re attending is great for learning and growth.
- The event you’re attending has other like minded, growth oriented people there to network with.
Although I too love social media and connecting online, there is nothing like meeting in person. It gives people the opportunity to connect and get a sense of someone quickly – which in turn can build trust and rapport faster than any other option.
I personally commit to attending a minimum of two events per year (many times more) for my own personal and professional growth. I plan for it and budget it in knowing that the investment in me is often returned ten fold. I invite you to do the same.
“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.”
– Benjamin Franklin
Per today’s Success Tip, I want to share with you a handful of strategies that can help you maximize your time and investment at the live events or meetings that you’re attending.
When applied, these strategies can create new business, sales, and income.
TIP #1: Do THIS Before You Go! The most popular phrase used when referring to networking is this: The fortune is in the follow up. It’s a cute phrase, but it’s also said so often because it’s true! Now, we already know this, right? But the challenge is doing it. So before you go, schedule time blocks into your calendar dedicated to “event follow up”. I find that already having it in my schedule – a planned priority – sets me up to succeed and it will do the same things for you too. See, when we get back from an event there is laundry and emails and all sorts of things to catch up on alongside of our already busy lives. We have the best of intentions to follow up, yet often those intentions and new warm business cards become dusty and stale underneath the busyness of life awaiting our return. “Success is scheduled” is a truer than true success strategy.
- When is your next live event or networking meeting?
- Grab your calendar now and schedule your follow up time in the days following it so it’s already there!
TIP #2: Know Your 15 Second Commercial. The most popular question you will be asked at your next live event, seminar, or networking meeting will be, “what do you do?” Plan on it. When it comes to sharing what you do, think of sharing the outcome or benefits that your product or service provides. I often share this phrase in my sales training, “Sell the Destination, not the Airplane.” People are buying destinations, not the airplane itself, make sense? Focus on what they get and receive. Create a powerful one or two line statement about what you do for others – their outcome in working with you. List out benefits and outcomes people experience and then utilize those in your sharing. Another way to think of this is every time someone asks you, “what do you do?” pretend they’ve really just asked you, “how do you help others?” By responding how we help others thrive and succeed we keep the spotlight on what we do for them. Keep it short and sweet – remember that we’re just wanting to engage, not overwhelm them with our entire story.
TIP #3: The Power of Intention. In showing up to any event, hold the intention or say a prayer to be of service to the people you will meet. I have had many cool “coincidences” of meeting just the right person that I can help or that can help me with having this mindset. All too often people see networking as “what can I get” yet the adage of show up to serve to focus on “what can I give” makes what Larry Benet, Networking Expert calls a VC – Value Creator. When you’re focused on adding value to people’s lives, you will have an abundance of opportunities and plenty of sales as you provide solutions for others. Whether it’s called prayer or intention in your world, draw upon it to help set the framework of how you’ll show up at the next event you attend…and watch the magic happen.
TIP #4: Increase Retention. All too often we attend a fabulous and inspiring seminar and take detailed notes, only to never see the notes again. To increase your retention, take even 5 minutes before going to bed that night to review your notes. This simply activity significantly increases your retention and therefore, odds of success by applying it. I find that especially if I’m attending a multi-day event, I plan to have a 15 minute evening review to maximize the investment I’ve made to be at that event. To go the extra mile, I like to review those notes once a week during personal study time over the following 30 days. Remember that success is scheduled? If remembering to review is challenging for you, put it in your schedule as a reminder to help you get the value and learning you went for.
TIP #5: Carry Blank Cards. Receiving anything in the snail mail these days stands out, doesn’t it? In the day of texts, emails, and tweets, to receive an actual card almost feels vintage – and it’s powerful. To help set yourself up for success, carry blank note cards with you in your purse or bag. I personally will carry a few in the book I’m reading or in my journal so when I find a few minutes, I can write a card right then and there. Especially when flight travel is involved, I enjoy journaling and writing cards to my new contacts on the flight home. By having them on you and while the meeting is top of mind, I like to ink those sentiments and get it in the mail.
TIP #6: Get Choosy! Although it’s possible and ideal to follow up with every new contact you made at your recent event or seminar, I invite you to pick 1-5 contacts that really stood out to you or that you had a great connection with to focus in on and follow up with. Meeting great people is awesome, following up with them is another. I find that for any goal in life, focus is the game changer to success and thriving. So pick who stood out most to you. Or who you have that “vibe” for. And then begin with building a real relationship with them. Often if we try to take on too much, we get overwhelmed and procrastinate and then do nothing. One person followed up with and a great relationship established is better than a million business cards collecting dust.
- What tip are you most likely to implement?
- Are there others that have worked for you?
- I’d love to hear from you.
Cheering you on!
During my annual Sales Summit Series, I’m giving away some amazing prizes for those of you who are sharing this series with your social media networks!
For every post or tweet, you earn one ticket to be entered into the drawing. The more you share, the more chances you have to win!
Share to Facebook and Twitter for each entry.
The link to share is http://www.salessummitseries.com
Hashtag is #salessummit13
Take a look at these awesome prizes!
- (3) Sales Mastery Kits. Discover the mindset & skillset to thrive in sales! 4 audio disc set. ($97 retail value)
- (2) Elevation Event Tickets. Join me for my annual live event that goes deep into personal transformation combined with the blueprint to grow your business. Taking place September 26-28, 2013 in Salt Lake City, Utah. ($297 retail value). www.elevation2013.com
- (1) Success Academy Group Coaching Course. Experience the accountability, coaching, and step by step implementation of Tiffany’s proven success & sales principles to create sustainable change during this 8 week program. ($497 retail value). www.successacademy2013.com
Thank you for sharing!!
The more you share the greater your chance to win!
Contest ends August 28th, 2013. Winners will be announced live on August 28th.
The Velocity Trap
You set a goal.
You tell all your friends!
You take off strong towards that goal!
And then a little time goes by.
The enthusiasm wanes.
The doubts creep in.
You take your eyes off the goal and take stock of what others are doing. Many of them are further than you! GASP!
You begin questioning.
You look ahead to see your goal beckoning you in the distance.
You know it’s possible, yet is it possible for you?
It’s for sure possible for others doing it.
You can see glimmers, but you want so much more.
You thought that BY NOW you’d be so much further than you are…
So what does all this mean?
When we begin pursuing goals, changes, or growth it often (not always) takes longer than we would like.
Whether that be losing weight, growing your business, writing a book, or increasing your income, time can take longer than we wanted or expected…
For many of you, you’re exactly where you need to be. You just need a little patience and timing to arrive at your destination.
I have the great fortune to coach many people growing their own business – and inevitably the “not fast enough” syndrome hits them all at some point or another. They want more leaders for their downline. They want to get more media attention, Twitter followers, or opt in’s for their list. They want more clients to service. They want more conversations to become actual sales.
The “not fast enough” syndrome is normal.
And it can be exhausting, overwhelming, and costly.
Let me ask you this – if you knew with 100% conviction that your goal was going to happen, yet it was say 30 days or 18 months out, how would you choose to pass the time in getting there?
With peace and confidence?
Or with stress, worry, or second guessing?
I believe strongly that what you claim as yours – your desired dreams and goals – that they in effect are also seeking for you…as Rumi, the great poet has said, “What you’re seeking, is seeking you.”
Yet, I also believe that those dreams will show up sometimes different than imagined or on a different timeline than we may have.
So how can you travel the path of peace to your goals?
Consider these suggestions.
1. Eliminate the comparison game. Oftentimes our struggles come in the awareness of comparing our progress and results to that of others. We may have felt just fine in what we were doing until we hear that someone else has done double the results we have in the same time. In comparing ourselves to others, we take out an eternal measuring stick that can evaluate everything that we’re not doing, achieving, or excelling at. Drop the comparison meter and refocus on the positive things that you are doing in your own life.
2. Daily Meditation. I find that when I’m connected to myself, that inner awareness – some call it their intuition, their heart, or the Holy Spirit – whatever you call it, when you’re connected to it, there is a greater sense of peace and purpose to your life. I find that many insights, ideas, or actions to take will come to me in my meditation that is exactly what I need to learn or do next in the path of achieving my goals. Do you have daily or even weekly quiet time? A meditation practice? Journaling? Time in nature? By getting quiet and centered we will find the answers we seek.
3. Reward yourself along the way. This is SERIOUS friends! Pay attention to the power of celebration of your progress and milestones. Two years ago I began coaching a lovely woman in a direct sales business. Upon hiring me, she was one level away from the very top rank level in her company and her goal was to become a top level leader. In our first coaching session, I asked if she had ever celebrated herself for achieving the milestone (which was incredible) that she had already ascended to which she replied, “no.” Her first assignment: celebrate herself and her current achievement. She did so and it became a habit to begin acknowledging her progress along the way. Within 45 days or less, she achieved the top rank within her business and now has a network marketing business with around 100,000 distributors in her organization. Consider this, if you’re always waiting to be “perfect” or at the self created finish line for your goal to reward yourself, you may never get there. Rewarding yourself, acknowledging your progress is POTENT FUEL for the path of achievement. I invite you to do something this week to celebrate the milestones you’ve already achieved. I’d love to hear how this goes for you.
Have faith in yourself and in your goals.
Quit comparing your life to others.
Take time to get quiet and centered on a regular basis.
Reward your milestones.
A little patience goes a long way.
You’ve got this fellow traveler.
My Goals Inventory
Each year around this time, I take a personal inventory of my annual goals. I find it’s a great time to acknowledge what’s working well and then explore what I’d like to change or work towards for the rest of the year.
I’d like to share a few coaching questions that can help you do the same thing.
First of all, think back over the last six months and identify what are your wins and victories?
- Personally? Did you improve a skill, get organized, or commit to a morning ritual?
- Professionally? Have you created a new product, updated your website, or taken a class to improve your sales skills?
- Financially? Have you increased your income? Improved your close rate? Paid off debt or saved more income?
- Health & Fitness? Have you done more green juicing or taken up running? Are you getting more rest at night or tried a new meditation practice?
- Relationships? Have you invested more in your network or your spouse? Have you completed a relationship that was draining you? Perhaps you’ve worked on your listening skills or committed to date night?
- Fun? Have you had some fun? Tried a new hobby or made new friends?
It’s so very easy in the conversation to immediately think of all things we either haven’t achieved yet or where we are missing the mark. I always encourage our minds to first focus on our many wins and victories before launching into setting new goals.
Remember, it’s always about PROGRESS, not perfection anyways.
I find that by beginning a goal inventory with the positive, I’ve deposited powerful fuel to inspire me to create more of what I want!
Now that we’ve acknowledge the positive, consider what you would like to achieve for the rest of 2013.
What would you like to experience more of in your life?
What one major professional goal achieved would launch you to the next level?
What one, simple, yet repetitive action will be your health focus? (juicing, rest, meditation, exercise)
What emotion do you want to feel on a more regular basis? (peace, aliveness, innovative, creative, etc).
What one distraction in your life or in your time do you need to reduce or eliminate to help you achieve your goals?
By answering these questions and doing an inventory of our lives, results, and desires, we become aware of what we want to consciously create in our lives and results.
I invite you this week or weekend to take an hour of personal time to reflect, journal, and/or meditate to become clear on what matters most to you and the desired changes that you want to implement.
Awareness, clarity, and decisions are the bedrock of creating an exceptional life!
Cheering you on!
Office Hours for the Entrepreneur
Watch the video here:
A few nuggets to look at for yourself:
- What are my office hours?
- When am I most productive?
- What activities have the biggest influence to sales & income?
Creating a thriving business while playing more is realistic when we have quality not quantity blocks of time to focus on our MVP’s (most valuable priorities) in business.
You can have both – fun & playfulness AND productive work hours (quality) that grow your sales and income.
Cheering you on!
I love Spring and I love Fall – and I love how the two are connected. I’ve been spending time planting new flowers, weeding, and gardening quite a bit this last week. I love the new season that is upon us.
Gardening is symbolic of life – planting, nourishing, weeding, and when done consistently, beautiful and amazing results follow our efforts.
Your business and success in life is just like a garden. What we plant and nourish (for positive or negative) will bring forth results that match our efforts. The great news is that we are the gardener of our lives – with the ability to shape and create the results we desire.
Now, many times we face hot opposition, struggles, lack of motivation, or frustration in not seeing the results as fast as we would like. That’s normal and common to every person on the planet. Yet what separates you from the common is how you respond to that opposition…
I invite you to take 3 minutes and watch this simple, yet profoundly powerful video – The Law of the Harvest – where I promise you that something shared in this video will be a nugget you’re needing or searching for…for this one Universal truth changes everything.
Your Harvest can never be prevented when you do your part to nourish your goals, sales, and business on a regular basis. Push through your “July” when it shows up and you also will meet with success!
Persistence ALWAYS trumps talent!
You got this,
No matter what you “sell” you’re in the PEOPLE business.
Learning to build and nourish relationships is at the core of your success in the home and success in your career & business life.
Many times we’ve all heard the phrase, “it’s not what you know, but WHO you know that matters.” And the reason it’s said so often is because at some level it’s true.
Relationships are everything to your sales, income, and business success. You likely already know that on some level so I’d like to share with you today 5 tips to help you nourish, rekindle, or grow your existing or desired networks.
1. Appreciation. Take time to appreciate people in your life and network. Human beings crave appreciation, acknowledgement, and recognition. Send an email, give a call, or post on social media your gratitude for the people in your life who you appreciate. A wise mentor of mine had me get into the habit of appreciating 5 to 10 people every day. That could be verbal, email, handwritten, etc. but to express appreciation to those in our networks. Many times we think those thoughts, yet to ACT on them and express them.
“Spread love wherever you go. Let no one come to you without leaving happier.”
– Mother Theresa
2. The WOW Factor. People who invest in the WOW factor stand out in business. The WOW Factor is doing something for your network, clients, prospects that they’re not expecting – it could be a gift, a product, a card, or an extra bonus they receive that they’re not expecting. The “Just Because” experience that has significant impact in relationships. For example, every event I host, participants come into the seminar room with a free product on each chair. This product isn’t advertised or told to them in sales copy – it’s a surprise when they arrive. It costs me a little amount of money (or even sponsored on occasion) that helps my guests feel special or appreciated. You could do something similar – send a gift, offer a free bonus, or treat them to lunch. It’s wise not to give a gift and then ask for something in return at the same time. Give gifts or offers as stand alone to have the greatest impact. I’ve seen others gift a gift, yet in the next sentence ask for something in return. That often leaves the person feeling like it’s a trade with you versus an investment in them.
3. Promote. A great way to nourish your relationships is to promote them to other people. You may post on social media endorsing their product or service. You may create an email introduction of two people that could possibly do business together. By promoting other people and helping them grow their business, you grow your relationship with them. You’re becoming a valued resource who is helping others succeed.
4. Be Present. A great gift in any relationship is to be present with the person you’re with – whether at home, in a meeting, or connecting one on one. Put your cell phone away and really focus on what the person is saying and communicating. We can all tell if someone is paying attention to us or not by many non verbal cues. If you want someone to feel important when with you act as if they are the only person in the room. Learning to listen is a highly prized and very rare skill, yet an incredible deposit in your relationships.
5. Stay Connected. If we only go to our networks when we need something, we’ll likely drain that network pretty quickly. Others will learn that you only call or reach out when you need something. It’s important to focus on being someone who is connected and actively making relationship deposits. Deposits demonstrate that we are invested in the relationship and deposits come in many forms. When we make the effort to stay connected and in touch with our networks, we have real, thriving relationships versus just acquaintances.
Wayne Dyer has said, “It’s never crowded along the extra mile.” If you want to thrive in life and in business, nourish your relationships and go the extra mile. Become a master at connection, listening, follow up, and supporting others. Give value to get valued as Danielle LaPorte has said. Your results will improve along side of having relationships that are rich and meaningful.
- Appreciate 3 people in your life and/or business networks within the next 24 hours.
- Send a card, gift, or bonus to someone in your network or to your list. “Just because” gifts go a long way!
- Identify 3 people that you want to have a better relationship with or get to know altogether. Reach out, promote them, ask them to lunch or a Skype chat. Take action to nourish your network!
Will you go the extra mile?
Cheering you on,
Jealousy. Envious. Judgmental.
We’ve all felt those feelings at some point in our lives. It’s part of being human.
Yet, sometimes those feelings consume us where we find ourselves loathing another person, mentally rehearsing perfect one liners we could say to them, or placing judgment upon them about how they don’t deserve their success or how you’re much better than so and so.
When those feelings are present for us, they have a lot to teach us. So rather than judge them or judge yourself for having those feelings, get curious and introspective about what may really be going on with you. You’d be surprised about what may really be underneath those challenging feelings.
Recently I did a television segment on this very topic, sharing insights, questions, and tools of how to learn from and release the envy.
Here is the segment:
Often when we feel envy or jealousy, we believe that there is only so much of that success to go around and we may be missing out. Those feelings are fear or ego based, centered in scarcity versus sufficiency or abundance. And finally, many times if someone else’s success is triggering me and these negative feelings, it many times points to dreams or goals that I’d like to have, but I’m not pursuing or giving myself permission or time to entertain.
- Consider a person or example that you are envious of or felt jealous of in the past. Ask yourself, “What does their success trigger in me?”
- Get curious about what’s going on under these feelings – am I feeling that there is a lack of opportunity for me? Is there a goal that their success inspires in me to pursue? Is there an area or goal in life that I’m not allowing myself to go after?
- Study, interview, or read about someone who’s created the results you want. You could invite them to lunch or tea. You could read their autobiography or blog online. Transform your envy to insight.
- Ask yourself, “What goal would I like to pursue in a bigger way? What’s one simple action I can take this week to move it forward?”
There are many things in life we cannot control, but we are responsible for our emotions. As Eleanor Roosevelt taught, “No one can offend you without your permission.”
As conscious creators of our own lives, when we own our emotions and get curious about them, we hold the key to our own freedom, peace of mind, and quality of our lives.
Feelings aren’t facts – they’re teachers.
Cheering you on,
Vulnerability is the Way
I am writing a book.
Okay, phew! I just said it. I feel like I just jumped off the symbolic cliff with you. I just put it out there. And now I feel a bit vulnerable and free all at the same time.
I’ve been “thinking” about writing a book for a long time. People say that it’s good for business, great for credibility, and will open many doors. And while that’s true I assume, that isn’t my driving motivation.
Nearly six months ago I attended a women’s retreat and during a meditation by the ocean I had a divine, sacred experience where I felt called to share what’s in my heart. It’s as if a seed was then planted that has been gestating and it’s now beginning to come forth. It’s about me answering a call from my Divine, my heart and willing to walk in this path, even though it’s scares me and brings up lots of my unpretty stuff.
Last weekend I participated in a virtual workshop retreat to write a book in a weekend – it was awesome – great coaching, collaboration, and passion and I made significant progress. And then I hit the wall.
I’m aware that when we approach change and growth that our stuff or limiting beliefs can come up. I coach that everyday. So I was very logical about going into this weekend, yet then I hit my own wall. I was stuck, I was overwhelmed, feeling like I wanted to just check out and shut down.
As I got curious about what was up for me and gave voice to it, I became aware that my stuff sounded like this, “Who am I to write this book? I’m just a regular girl. What will others think of me?” And then the big one surfaced – “what if I can’t live up to my content (core success principles) all the time? I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be. And I feel incredibly vulnerable putting myself out there.”
I cried. Hot tears cried. And then breathed. And then received some love and support from dear friends who “just happened” to reach out when the meltdown was happening, including my workshop partner & dear friend, Michelle. God is really so cool with how He puts people on our path in the moment we need them. And none of them “fixed” it for me – that’s my work with myself and my Maker. Yet held the love and space to say, “Tiff, it’s okay to be vulnerable. You’re writing this to honor a calling, honoring God. You’re writing this for those who are seeking it.” And then I breathed some more and felt a sense of peaceful calm. And went on to knock it out of the park.
Being vulnerable is the path of the courageous, the path of greatness.
Whether that be in the form of writing a book, taking a stand for a cause or beliefs we have, asking for a sale, communicating our needs to our partner, or any other form where we tell our own truth or take a real or perceived risk.
There are reactions we receive in putting ourselves out there – we could experience judgment, criticism, or rejection. We could also experience love, sales, connection, and fulfillment by willing to risk and be vulnerable.
It often appears that hiding our vulnerability – acting as if we’re tough, know it all, are perfectly put together, and stuffing or distracting our vulnerability – will protect us, yet in reality it limits us from living a more expressed life.
Last Spring I was introduced to a great thought leader, Brene Brown and her TED talk video. It moved me to the core. She now has a best selling book, “Daring Greatly” and has recently been featured on the popular Oprah program, Super Soul Sunday. This topic is trending big time. Take a watch and see why:
So I’m sharing with you what is up for me and creating my own path of vulnerability… so you can get the most out of the time you’ve invested in reading this article, take a breath of courage and consider for yourselves…
- Where in my life or what in my life am I avoiding or putting off?
- What one goal – greater connection, intimacy, writing your book, asking for that sale – do you know in your gut that you need to ask for or go for?
- Are you willing to ask for what you want, to put yourself out there?
Yes, your work may be judged, like mine will be. Yes, your work will be praised, like mine will be. Yes, you may get a no, get turned down, told no, or have to make uncomfortable decisions. Yes, you may get a yes, get accepted, and get exactly what you wanted. We never know unless we’re willing to be vulnerable.
I have learned for myself that the more I am authentic and allow myself to share all of me, especially the vulnerable sides, that I experience life and connections at a fuller expression of living. Vulnerability makes life more beautiful…more real, deep, and alive! And that’s a choice I’m choosing to make.
Cheering you on!