Each year around this time, I take a personal inventory of my annual goals. I find it’s a great time to acknowledge what’s working well and then explore what I’d like to change or work towards for the rest of the year.
I’d like to share a few coaching questions that can help you do the same thing.
First of all, think back over the last six months and identify what are your wins and victories?
Personally? Did you improve a skill, get organized, or commit to a morning ritual?
Professionally? Have you created a new product, updated your website, or taken a class to improve your sales skills?
Financially? Have you increased your income? Improved your close rate? Paid off debt or saved more income?
Health & Fitness? Have you done more green juicing or taken up running? Are you getting more rest at night or tried a new meditation practice?
Relationships? Have you invested more in your network or your spouse? Have you completed a relationship that was draining you? Perhaps you’ve worked on your listening skills or committed to date night?
Fun? Have you had some fun? Tried a new hobby or made new friends?
It’s so very easy in the conversation to immediately think of all things we either haven’t achieved yet or where we are missing the mark. I always encourage our minds to first focus on our many wins and victories before launching into setting new goals.
Remember, it’s always about PROGRESS, not perfection anyways.
I find that by beginning a goal inventory with the positive, I’ve deposited powerful fuel to inspire me to create more of what I want!
Now that we’ve acknowledge the positive, consider what you would like to achieve for the rest of 2013.
What would you like to experience more of in your life?
What one major professional goal achieved would launch you to the next level?
What one, simple, yet repetitive action will be your health focus? (juicing, rest, meditation, exercise)
What emotion do you want to feel on a more regular basis? (peace, aliveness, innovative, creative, etc).
What one distraction in your life or in your time do you need to reduce or eliminate to help you achieve your goals?
By answering these questions and doing an inventory of our lives, results, and desires, we become aware of what we want to consciously create in our lives and results.
I invite you this week or weekend to take an hour of personal time to reflect, journal, and/or meditate to become clear on what matters most to you and the desired changes that you want to implement.
Awareness, clarity, and decisions are the bedrock of creating an exceptional life!
I love Spring and I love Fall – and I love how the two are connected. I’ve been spending time planting new flowers, weeding, and gardening quite a bit this last week. I love the new season that is upon us.
Gardening is symbolic of life – planting, nourishing, weeding, and when done consistently, beautiful and amazing results follow our efforts.
Your business and success in life is just like a garden. What we plant and nourish (for positive or negative) will bring forth results that match our efforts. The great news is that we are the gardener of our lives – with the ability to shape and create the results we desire.
Now, many times we face hot opposition, struggles, lack of motivation, or frustration in not seeing the results as fast as we would like. That’s normal and common to every person on the planet. Yet what separates you from the common is how you respond to that opposition…
I invite you to take 3 minutes and watch this simple, yet profoundly powerful video – The Law of the Harvest – where I promise you that something shared in this video will be a nugget you’re needing or searching for…for this one Universal truth changes everything.
Your Harvest can never be prevented when you do your part to nourish your goals, sales, and business on a regular basis. Push through your “July” when it shows up and you also will meet with success!
No matter what you “sell” you’re in the PEOPLE business.
Learning to build and nourish relationships is at the core of your success in the home and success in your career & business life.
Many times we’ve all heard the phrase, “it’s not what you know, but WHO you know that matters.” And the reason it’s said so often is because at some level it’s true.
Relationships are everything to your sales, income, and business success. You likely already know that on some level so I’d like to share with you today 5 tips to help you nourish, rekindle, or grow your existing or desired networks.
1. Appreciation. Take time to appreciate people in your life and network. Human beings crave appreciation, acknowledgement, and recognition. Send an email, give a call, or post on social media your gratitude for the people in your life who you appreciate. A wise mentor of mine had me get into the habit of appreciating 5 to 10 people every day. That could be verbal, email, handwritten, etc. but to express appreciation to those in our networks. Many times we think those thoughts, yet to ACT on them and express them.
“Spread love wherever you go.Let no one come to you without leaving happier.” – Mother Theresa
2. The WOW Factor. People who invest in the WOW factor stand out in business. The WOW Factor is doing something for your network, clients, prospects that they’re not expecting – it could be a gift, a product, a card, or an extra bonus they receive that they’re not expecting. The “Just Because” experience that has significant impact in relationships. For example, every event I host, participants come into the seminar room with a free product on each chair. This product isn’t advertised or told to them in sales copy – it’s a surprise when they arrive. It costs me a little amount of money (or even sponsored on occasion) that helps my guests feel special or appreciated. You could do something similar – send a gift, offer a free bonus, or treat them to lunch. It’s wise not to give a gift and then ask for something in return at the same time. Give gifts or offers as stand alone to have the greatest impact. I’ve seen others gift a gift, yet in the next sentence ask for something in return. That often leaves the person feeling like it’s a trade with you versus an investment in them.
3. Promote. A great way to nourish your relationships is to promote them to other people. You may post on social media endorsing their product or service. You may create an email introduction of two people that could possibly do business together. By promoting other people and helping them grow their business, you grow your relationship with them. You’re becoming a valued resource who is helping others succeed.
4. Be Present. A great gift in any relationship is to be present with the person you’re with – whether at home, in a meeting, or connecting one on one. Put your cell phone away and really focus on what the person is saying and communicating. We can all tell if someone is paying attention to us or not by many non verbal cues. If you want someone to feel important when with you act as if they are the only person in the room. Learning to listen is a highly prized and very rare skill, yet an incredible deposit in your relationships.
5. Stay Connected. If we only go to our networks when we need something, we’ll likely drain that network pretty quickly. Others will learn that you only call or reach out when you need something. It’s important to focus on being someone who is connected and actively making relationship deposits. Deposits demonstrate that we are invested in the relationship and deposits come in many forms. When we make the effort to stay connected and in touch with our networks, we have real, thriving relationships versus just acquaintances.
Wayne Dyer has said, “It’s never crowded along the extra mile.” If you want to thrive in life and in business, nourish your relationships and go the extra mile. Become a master at connection, listening, follow up, and supporting others. Give value to get valued as Danielle LaPorte has said. Your results will improve along side of having relationships that are rich and meaningful.
Appreciate 3 people in your life and/or business networks within the next 24 hours.
Send a card, gift, or bonus to someone in your network or to your list. “Just because” gifts go a long way!
Identify 3 people that you want to have a better relationship with or get to know altogether. Reach out, promote them, ask them to lunch or a Skype chat. Take action to nourish your network!
We’ve all felt those feelings at some point in our lives. It’s part of being human.
Yet, sometimes those feelings consume us where we find ourselves loathing another person, mentally rehearsing perfect one liners we could say to them, or placing judgment upon them about how they don’t deserve their success or how you’re much better than so and so.
When those feelings are present for us, they have a lot to teach us. So rather than judge them or judge yourself for having those feelings, get curious and introspective about what may really be going on with you. You’d be surprised about what may really be underneath those challenging feelings.
Recently I did a television segment on this very topic, sharing insights, questions, and tools of how to learn from and release the envy.
Here is the segment:
Often when we feel envy or jealousy, we believe that there is only so much of that success to go around and we may be missing out. Those feelings are fear or ego based, centered in scarcity versus sufficiency or abundance. And finally, many times if someone else’s success is triggering me and these negative feelings, it many times points to dreams or goals that I’d like to have, but I’m not pursuing or giving myself permission or time to entertain.
Consider a person or example that you are envious of or felt jealous of in the past. Ask yourself, “What does their success trigger in me?”
Get curious about what’s going on under these feelings – am I feeling that there is a lack of opportunity for me? Is there a goal that their success inspires in me to pursue? Is there an area or goal in life that I’m not allowing myself to go after?
Study, interview, or read about someone who’s created the results you want. You could invite them to lunch or tea. You could read their autobiography or blog online. Transform your envy to insight.
Ask yourself, “What goal would I like to pursue in a bigger way? What’s one simple action I can take this week to move it forward?”
There are many things in life we cannot control, but we are responsible for our emotions. As Eleanor Roosevelt taught, “No one can offend you without your permission.”
As conscious creators of our own lives, when we own our emotions and get curious about them, we hold the key to our own freedom, peace of mind, and quality of our lives.
Okay, phew! I just said it. I feel like I just jumped off the symbolic cliff with you. I just put it out there. And now I feel a bit vulnerable and free all at the same time.
I’ve been “thinking” about writing a book for a long time. People say that it’s good for business, great for credibility, and will open many doors. And while that’s true I assume, that isn’t my driving motivation.
Nearly six months ago I attended a women’s retreat and during a meditation by the ocean I had a divine, sacred experience where I felt called to share what’s in my heart. It’s as if a seed was then planted that has been gestating and it’s now beginning to come forth. It’s about me answering a call from my Divine, my heart and willing to walk in this path, even though it’s scares me and brings up lots of my unpretty stuff.
Last weekend I participated in a virtual workshop retreat to write a book in a weekend – it was awesome – great coaching, collaboration, and passion and I made significant progress. And then I hit the wall.
I’m aware that when we approach change and growth that our stuff or limiting beliefs can come up. I coach that everyday. So I was very logical about going into this weekend, yet then I hit my own wall. I was stuck, I was overwhelmed, feeling like I wanted to just check out and shut down.
As I got curious about what was up for me and gave voice to it, I became aware that my stuff sounded like this, “Who am I to write this book? I’m just a regular girl. What will others think of me?” And then the big one surfaced – “what if I can’t live up to my content (core success principles) all the time? I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be. And I feel incredibly vulnerable putting myself out there.”
I cried. Hot tears cried. And then breathed. And then received some love and support from dear friends who “just happened” to reach out when the meltdown was happening, including my workshop partner & dear friend, Michelle. God is really so cool with how He puts people on our path in the moment we need them. And none of them “fixed” it for me – that’s my work with myself and my Maker. Yet held the love and space to say, “Tiff, it’s okay to be vulnerable. You’re writing this to honor a calling, honoring God. You’re writing this for those who are seeking it.” And then I breathed some more and felt a sense of peaceful calm. And went on to knock it out of the park.
Being vulnerable is the path of the courageous, the path of greatness.
Whether that be in the form of writing a book, taking a stand for a cause or beliefs we have, asking for a sale, communicating our needs to our partner, or any other form where we tell our own truth or take a real or perceived risk.
There are reactions we receive in putting ourselves out there – we could experience judgment, criticism, or rejection. We could also experience love, sales, connection, and fulfillment by willing to risk and be vulnerable.
It often appears that hiding our vulnerability – acting as if we’re tough, know it all, are perfectly put together, and stuffing or distracting our vulnerability – will protect us, yet in reality it limits us from living a more expressed life.
Last Spring I was introduced to a great thought leader, Brene Brown and her TED talk video. It moved me to the core. She now has a best selling book, “Daring Greatly” and has recently been featured on the popular Oprah program, Super Soul Sunday. This topic is trending big time. Take a watch and see why:
So I’m sharing with you what is up for me and creating my own path of vulnerability… so you can get the most out of the time you’ve invested in reading this article, take a breath of courage and consider for yourselves…
Where in my life or what in my life am I avoiding or putting off?
What one goal – greater connection, intimacy, writing your book, asking for that sale – do you know in your gut that you need to ask for or go for?
Are you willing to ask for what you want, to put yourself out there?
Yes, your work may be judged, like mine will be. Yes, your work will be praised, like mine will be. Yes, you may get a no, get turned down, told no, or have to make uncomfortable decisions. Yes, you may get a yes, get accepted, and get exactly what you wanted. We never know unless we’re willing to be vulnerable.
I have learned for myself that the more I am authentic and allow myself to share all of me, especially the vulnerable sides, that I experience life and connections at a fuller expression of living. Vulnerability makes life more beautiful…more real, deep, and alive! And that’s a choice I’m choosing to make.
A few years ago as I was working on a new project that I was struggling to complete, my coach at the time said these valuable words, “Perfect is great, done is better.”
It rang a very loud bell for me. To this day that phrase is on a simple 3×5 card in my office that I see every day.
It has served me well over the last few years as a wisdom that helps me to move forward and produce, even when I know (and accept) that it won’t be perfect.
In the quest for achieving our goals – growing a business, starting a project, producing a website/book/event/product, you name it – we want to produce high quality content, right? Which is a great thing! I will always strive for excellence and quality AND I’m also aware that many times there is a trap there wanting to suck you in for life. The trap has a name called “perfectionism” and it can keep you and your goals in a holding pen for months, years, or even a lifetime.
Which the trouble is, no matter what it won’t ever be “perfect.” It can be great and powerful, yet you could always find ways to improve anything. And that vicious cycle stifles our growth, follow through, and expression of the passion that wants to flow through us.
Yesterday I was on a walk in my neighborhood with thoughts about how amazing life is, how much life I want to live, and goals my heart wants to achieve. And for whatever reason I had the awareness that there isn’t an infinite amount of time to get after our goals and creating our best lives. We must take action in the time we have now. Yes, we can always improve and progress as long as we’re living; yet the truth is that our lives and our goals have an expiration date.
We have an expiration date for this life.
Our goals have an expiration date too.
My point in being so dramatic?
If we’re stuck in waiting for life to be perfect to make desired changes – to leave that job or relationship, to write that book or host that event, take that trip or get serious about the bucket list – all in the name of waiting for it to be “perfect”, we will likely have regrets. And that is no way to live.
So ask yourself, what’s something I am putting off doing or completing because I’m waiting for it to be perfect?
Is it writing your book or producing a product?
Is it waiting to market yourself until you have another certification?
Is it staying where you’re waiting for the perfect time to change what’s burning in your heart?
What if we could change that perspective to one of progress versus perfection?
For me, this is your most important goal: PROGRESS, not perfection.
Progress is realistic. Progress can happen every day. Progress is how we tackle an overwhelming, huge, and out-of-our-comfort-zone type of goal.
Consider a goal that you’ve always wanted to go for, but haven’t yet. Write it down.
Identify 3 to 5 simple actions you could begin taking TODAY and do it. Then pick one and do it!
Place the phrase, “Perfect is Great, DONE is Better” somewhere where you will see it often.
Realize that under perfectionism is simply just fear holding you hostage. The fears of “what if I fail? Or is it good enough? What will people think? Who am I to share this?” are all very common culprits creating the perfectionism trap.
Take your power back from the fears of you or your project needing to be perfect and invest it into the path of progress. Your progress is what creates your life and your results, with all its beautiful imperfections along the way.
It was nearly 12 years ago when I heard that phrase for the first time. I was a new sales rep in a training class and at the time I first heard that phrase, I thought it was a bit of “psychobabble” talk. I didn’t think too much of it until months later I was living out what my trainer was talking about.
I had ramped up pretty quickly selling coaching for Franklin Covey Coaching and what I used to make in a month, I was now making in a week!! Awesome, right? Yes, except for the fact that I wasn’t used to making that kind of money ….and because that was outside of my comfort zone as well as my identity, I started to struggle…and it started to show up in my sales. Not good.
I hired my first “life coach” and I was introduced for the first time that year to classic books like As a Man Thinketh and Think & Grow Rich. I began to become aware of the power of my thoughts and how I was a shaping my life’s experiences.
And I went to work on the one thing I have control over – Me.
Jim Rohn has said, “your net worth will likely never outperform your self worth.”
Now, you may also think this sounds a bit woo-woo, right? Yet, I’m here to tell you that in my own experience as well as every client I’ve ever coached, we have lived out this truth.
Your self esteem is like your set of fingerprints – they’re on everything you touch: your bank account, your relationships, your health, you name it. It has a direct influence to how we show up in life and the results we’re creating – or sabotaging.
The good news? You can build your confidence & self esteem like any other muscle to make it stronger and healthier in your life. You also can go to work on you, which in turn will go to work on your sales.
Consider this – do you treat yourself like a top priority in your life? Do you cheer yourself on or tear yourself down? Do you put everyone else first and yourself last, or not at all?
Quick Inventory: Where would you rate your current level of self esteem?
Now, ask yourself, what’s one thing I can do to improve it? Begin doing it immediately! Part of building great self esteem is trusting ourselves and taking action on what our heart or intuition guides us to do.
This topic is deep and broad and we could literally do a 3 day workshop just on self esteem together. To help you get started on a path to enhancing your self esteem and therefore your results, consider these few insights to support you:
1. Trust. Self confidence comes from having a deep sense of trust within ourselves. Do you trust yourself? If no, can you forgive yourself and commit to repairing trust within you? Stephen Covey teaches that the fastest way to build trust with ourselves and others is “to make and keep commitments”…whereas the opposite is also true. Every time we make and break commitments, we erode trust. Tighten up your word with yourself so you feel confident that you’re in integrity with the boss – you!
2. Self Care. Do you take time to exercise, get good sleep, pray or meditate – or any other activity that helps your physical and emotional well being? Do you make time for you? If not, begin with 15 minutes per day to start investing in you. This simple practice will add up to a big deal.
3. Date Yourself. (I loved typing that by the way!) What I call a “Joy List”, choose to do at least one thing a week that is just for you – a massage, a game of golf, hiking, baking your favorite treat – whatever brings you joy on any level, free to expensive, that brings you a sense of joy to your life. Ideally you do something daily or multiple times a week, but at least begin with one a week. You are responsible for your happiness – so go create it!
When our BEHAVIOR backs up the BELIEF that we’re valuable and deserving, amazing things happen. Affirmations without action are simply “make believe.” If your behavior doesn’t align with the belief that you’re fabulous, worthy, valuable, etc then you’ll struggle to really believe it and live it.
Create your own joy list whether on a note pad, your laptop, or smart phone – begin adding things to it as you go that bring you joy – and then do them! Begin this week with doing at least one thing for yourself that brings you joy.
Whether you start small or go big, make yourself and your self esteem a top priority in your life. You’ll not only feel better, but you’ll also attract better results to you.
I’m choosing to forgo my formal “Success Tips” today in lieu of having a candid conversation with you.
You know how some things you love are simply just bad for you? Or perhaps too much of something or someone isn’t great for you? Sometimes too much of a good thing can throw us off balance.
Perhaps for you or someone you love, it may be a serious alcohol or drug or gambling addiction. It could also be an addiction to social media or television as a way of staying numbed out. It shows up in staying in a relationship that isn’t healthy for you or perhaps it’s constantly maxing out your credit card hoping the newest pair of shoes or handbag will feed the shopper’s high in helping you fill the void.
We all have addictions.
Some are extremely serious, as in life threatening. And some are not as serious at first glance, yet can steal our peace, confidence, and our greatest resource, our time.
One of my addictions has been sugar. I love cookies, cakes, cupcakes, chocolate, and hot cocoa. These are lovely things to be enjoyed yet too much of them can make you sick, tired, overweight, exhausted, etc. And in all transparency, sometimes the sweets for me cover up what I’m not wanting to feel or address emotionally.
So it was time for us to take a break, Mr. Sugar and I.
Today I am 50 days sugar clean of a 90 day public commitment to let go of sugar in the forms of sweets and treats. I am eating fruit or natural forms of sugar. Some days have been easy and some days it’s been hell. It’s been a good challenge for me to find many delicious recipes that are sweet yet without processed sugar. The first 10 days were the most challenging physically as my body was detoxing sugar out of my system. Yet what’s been interesting is the emotional component behind why I often reach for sweets – many times I would reach for sweets out of boredom or feeling lonely. As that craving comes up, I’ve been asking myself, “what do I really want” and then listening to what my intuition tells me. It’s been a very interesting process of insightful learning.
Now I’m not saying that my sugar addiction compares to someone struggling with drugs or alcohol or say gambling or pornography. Yet we all have things we may turn to in filling the emotional voids we struggle with in life to numb out, feel better, or bandaid the wounds we deal with.
So before you get depressed reading this, I want to share that there is great healing and empowerment that comes when we are willing to muster the courage to look at what is creating the real pain, the cravings, or temptations behind our behaviors. We can change. We can regain control over our lives, bodies, our time, and ultimately our destiny.
So consider for yourself, are you numbing out or avoiding what isn’t working in your life?
Are you covering up feelings of low self worth or loneliness with pornography, food, shopping, or incessant time on social media?
Are you procrastinating pursuing your dreams with living on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest?
Are you covering your loneliness for real connection with online relationships?
With awareness comes the ability to make new choices.
With new choices, we shape the quality of our lives.
When we are willing to work through the emotional voids and wounds we feel by facing them, we take our power back.
As a mentor of mine has repetitively taught me, “The best way out is through.” To face the discomfort versus run, hide, or cover it.
I embarked upon my sugar cleanse for a variety of reasons – I wanted to see if there was a real difference in my energy that others claim. I wanted more mental clarity and spiritual discernment. I wanted to influence my body pH to be in an alkaline state. And overall, I wanted the self mastery challenge to show I can do it. Some people climb Everest, some of us give up sugar. Both will bring about intense learning for the participant.
I am learning that my word tastes better than anything I could eat – that honoring my integrity as I gave my word to my inner circle that I would do this – is the sweetest dessert there is.
I am learning that I am stronger than any craving or red velvet cupcake that I’m presented with…(it does help not to inhale the scent of freshly baked goods).
I am learning that I have some things in me that need some attention and healing.
I am learning that doing the things I believe I cannot do is the biggest surge of human excitement – and confidence – there is.
I am learning to be more compassionate with myself and with others as we all have our mountains to face and addictions to heal.
My path with my sugar cleanse is outlined for 90 days – until April 1st. From there I’m not sure how I’ll navigate it. I’m not saying that I won’t have sugar ever again, yet I know that I will be more aware than I ever have been related to how much of it I’m consuming. If anything, that is a Universal lesson for us all – is simply waking up to how much we’re consuming on auto pilot. For you that mean the Internet for others it’s food or sugar or shopping. Becoming aware of what we are doing – conscious creation – is a powerful place to live our lives from.
So here’s my COACHING ASSIGNMENT to you this week…
Grab your notebook or journal and consider your thoughts & responses to the following introspective questions:
Where in my life am I over indulging? Why am I doing that?
Where in my life am I putting off something that no longer works for me? Why am I doing that?
Where in my life am I giving my power, money, or time away to? Why am I doing that?
What would I rather experience? Why is that important to me?
What do I CHOOSE?
I do believe that no matter what you face that there is always hope for positive change. That as an aware human being that you also can master any challenge or temptation that besets you. You have the courage to create the life that your heart desires. You have what it takes to face what isn’t working and fix it, heal it, or remove it. Where there is choice, there is power.
I believe in you, my friend and fellow traveler on the path.
You likely can relate to one or more of the following scenarios:
1. You know that you’re ready to do something new in your life -write a book, leave your corporate gig, create a new relationship, buy some really big new thing… and you’re scared.
2. You’re wanting to create some new thing in your life, but you’ve never ever done it before… and you don’t know where to start.
3. You’re feeling so overwhelmed with all there is to do to run a business or your life (or both) so in the midst of all the overwhelm, frustration, and anxiety… you allow distractions (social media, food, off topic projects) to steal your time instead.
The antidote to all of these challenges is found in Taking Action. Now it’s not to say that there are not other influences to some of these challenges you’re facing – yet all of these scenarios require action to move forward and create positive change.
I love what Norman Vincent Peale says about action…
“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.”
Isn’t that incredible wisdom? He was right on the money. And so are you when you get into action.
As Mike Dooley said last weekend, “Action breeds clarity” – you likely may be waiting for more information, the perfect website, or another certification, or to lose another 10 pounds before you will take the action that will create the outcome you want. Interestingly enough, the clarity is often found in the doing – by taking action towards your goals.
So dare to take a little more action – it doesn’t have to be a massive overhaul – although it can be and quite an adventure! Even if you take a little more action – say making a few sales calls about your new venture – before having the perfect website or business card, you will learn so much more and increase your likelihood of sales! Imagine that!
You may find yourself drawn to meeting someone new so you could create an online dating profile and put yourself out there – you may love it or hate it, but that action will breed more clarity for you. So will dating – you’ll learn more (clarity) about what you do want or don’t want in a relationship.
You may find yourself drawn to a new career path – you could take classes, attend a networking event, or take someone to lunch in that industry to learn more of what it would be like. That action will create more clarity for you.
Whatever your goal or desire is, by taking more action you can only gain more clarity and guidance of what you do want in your life.
One thought shared by personal development pioneer, Buckminster Fuller is “You can never learn less. You can only learn more.”Action increases the velocity of what we’re learning. By taking more action, we get more clear, and with that clarity we can adjust, improve, and create what it is that we want.
So your homework for the week – what’s one thing, goal, or change you’re drawn to in your life? Consider if you were to take action towards that direction, what would that be? If you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself, what’s one simple action I could take, focused on the simple?
As you take more action in your life – versus thinking and thinking and thinking about it – you will create faster and greater clarity for yourself, which in turn will propel you forward to what you want.
Sure there are times you order a product online with no interaction or you may even buy something from a rude or checked out sales rep, but more often than not, our experience and therefore our feelings have everything to do with our purchases. And love being the positive emotion, it is at the core.
Let’s imagine that you would like to make more money and/or close more sales.
Being great at sales is synonymous with being great at service. And from my perspective, I like to focus first and last on service and then the sales and money are a natural byproduct.
Adding value to others, seeking to understand & meet their needs, and coming to all your business relationships with the intentions of serving your clients, is the sign of a true leader, a top performer in sustaining sales success.
Oftentimes when money may feel scarce or may be tight, it’s easy to move into fear and anxieties about money…which may push us to want to “sell” more to others. We may get pushy or desperate (a future newsletter in the making) and we ultimately disconnect ourselves from love, trust of life, and the Universe as Marianne would say in her teachings as well.
If making more money is one of your goals this year, then get focused and get centered in love, service, and adding value.
How can I make a bigger impact for my existing clients?
How can I go the extra mile in my customer service?
Who and how can I serve today?
When we show up to serve others, when we focus on making a difference in others lives and in solving their problems, we create value in us and in the relationship. Which in turn, will put money in your pocket.
Now sometimes I may serve someone and they don’t choose to move forward – that’s okay – I know that if I’m doing my part to serve, add value, and CONTRIBUTE to the planet, then I’m always depositing in my “karma bank account” and I always trust that for me God (you may label your higher power differently) will always provide for me – and He does.
Just today I had a coaching session with a successful gentleman who has recently gotten “stuck” in his sales process and ultimately no recent sales transactions. His stress level high, his brain trying to figure out what was “wrong”, and he was agitated that the work he was doing wasn’t paying off. As I probed and asked several questions, it became clear to us both that his energy was off in his business. He was stressed, frustrated, and resentful – all repellents for sales and money. His assignments – reconnect to fun, service, and his spiritual core to realign.
Does that sound like some woo wow advice or what?
We did address his sales funnel and price points too for skillset – yet when one’s mindset and energy is thrown off, skill becomes irrelevant.
Think about it – no one is buying more stress, frustration and resentment, right? (Imagine that for a moment and you’ll laugh).
So if that is where you are at and that is what your prospects are picking up – they aren’t buying.
One of my mentors, Jack Canfield, use to tell us, “You can’t put nail polish over poop.” Now that’s quite the image, but the teaching is so true. Putting a smile over your disconnected, stress emotions won’t hide the energetic truth of how you’re feeling.
So take your power back. Reconnect to SERVICE in your business, life and sales. Focus on adding value and making a difference. Money follows difference makers – have you noticed?
A thought I really enjoy by Earl Nightengale… “We get rich by enriching others”
How can you serve more?
Add more value?
Stand out by going the extra mile?
One of the most poignant teachings I heard last weekend from Marianne comes directly from her book.
“Purity of heart is the engine of wealth creation.”
Think on that one.
Meditate about it.
Let it sink in.
That’s what I call a soul stopper. (hee hee I couldn’t resist!).
But indeed true.
Our hearts and ultimately our love is what fuels our creative processes and governs how we show up in this life – in business, sales, and in our money.
And the good news is that no matter what the economy is doing, trends are predicting, our successes, our struggles – we can choose to show up and add value wherever we go, in every sales conversation, and in all of our relationships and create an abundant life for ourselves.
Regardless of how you feel about them, it’s estimated that by January 24th of the New Year, 92% of people have abandoned them. Big time commitment issues, right?
Yes. And perhaps the ever bigger issue is that for most people they set themselves up to fail with the following common challenges:
Set pie in the sky goals = unrealistic
Set goals that are all or nothing = perfect or bust
Set goals that are vague = lack of clear direction
Can you relate to any of those challenges yourself?
I know I’ve been guilty of them as well myself. I use to have the running joke that my New Year’s Resolutions could be the same list laminated and simply change out the year with a dry erase marker.
But regardless of the negative stigma attached to New Year resolutions, I do believe in goals with all my heart. I am a huge fan of having goals and I’m a bigger fan of having realistic action steps that feel doable to follow through on.
Goals to me are like the guideposts or lighthouses if you will that guide my path and grant navigational points that assist me to consciously create the life and results I desire.
So here are a few tips that help me create goals that I can truly COMMIT to…
Decide what I want. Sounds simple, right? You’d be surprised of how often people are not clear on what they want. They can rattle off a list of things they don’t want, are sick & tired of, etc. yet consider, are you focused and clear on what you do want to have?
Pick SMALL goals to support a large vision. Yes there are lots of things I want to achieve – amazing health & vitality, publish a book, enjoy loving relationships, triple my sales, travel to Paris, etc. We all have dreams and visions, yet when it comes to goals, focus on specific, smaller goals that you can follow through on. For instance, one of my health goals right now is that I have greens everyday in my nutrition. It’s clear and specific…and most importantly, DOABLE. It’s something I can commit to on a daily basis. I am green juicing every single day and I’m feeling amazing. So consider what would be the small steps to do on a daily/weekly basis that create the outcome that you want? This is a million dollar question my friends. I’d copy & paste it somewhere if I were you! By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.
The accountability factor. If you know that commitment issues with your goals is huge for you, increase your odds of success 1000% with some added nudges from accountability sources. This could be hiring a coach, creating a mastermind group, or teaming up with an accountability buddy. A good friend of mine has said, “Accountability, not ability, determines your results.” If you want different results, create the support structure that will help you get there. For me, I participate in two masterminds and two accountability partnerships – each provides accountability along with different strengths for all my goals and desired changes. When in doubt, get support!
Look, there are plenty of great resources out there that are teaching these similar things, right? The real deal is to ACT upon them. So you know where you struggle and where you shine.
So for you, what do you need to commit to?
What are you putting off, excusing, hiding from in your life?
And is that what you really want? Truly?
Change can happen at anytime we choose. That could be right now! This very instant you can put your life on a new path.
In creating change, my best coaching advice is to pick ONE thing that you’re 100% committed to. You don’t need to take on 20 new changes at once – just ONE. What’s that ONE thing for you that you will commit to you to create the outcome you desire?
Commit to it. Give your whole heart to it. I’ve found that the decision is the hardest part of change. Once the decision is made, the commitment & follow through are much easier. It is a complete struggle when I am on the fence with something or knowing that something is a “good idea” yet have no resolve.
“There are many ways to cross the river –
you just must have both feet in one boat.”
– Zen Proverb
Our commitment level is always reflected in our results.
My focus for first quarter are two major changes for my health: no processed sugar for 90 days (I’m 22 days and counting!!) and green juicing every day! I’ve done both every day this month and I’m feeling so clear and energized (another article to share in detail). I’m choosing to state this in public, to you, to increase my own accountability. And like I just said above, the decision on both choices was the hardest part. It’s easy to follow through because there is CLEAR commitment in my life.
This is my example of simple changes. What is yours? What will be yours?
Your VERY best life is waiting. Not your mediocre life. Your BEST life – the one you deserve, the one that flashes glimpses to you every so often, the one you know is yours to be claimed.
Firm up your resolve and COMMIT to yourself your simple changes and goals.
Great results are in store for you. Will I see you there?
This summer for me has held a lot of time in what I’d classify as “soul searching.” I don’t know if it’s the slower, lazy days of summer that help invites it or the world events taking place, or perhaps a combination of things, yet I find myself really looking at my life purpose, my work, ultimately my legacy. Is this just me or is this up for you too?
I had the grand pleasure of working for and learning from Franklin Covey Coaching for a number of years in my corporate days. I was daily involved with selling and teaching from the classic work of Stephen Covey, famously known, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I believe for many of us this book, this work had a profound effect upon our lives, our thinking, our relationships, and our legacy. As you likely know, Stephen Covey passed away this July. His passing prompted me to leaf through my own 7 Habits well worn copy and found myself smiling at the many truths I first learned from him. He has left a profound effect upon my life and upon the planet.
At the time of his passing, my mind, heart, and soul had already begun the dance of really doing a life introspection – am I happy? Am I progressing? Is my work meaningful? Am I contributing to the planet in a positive way? All of these thoughts combined with a few tear jearker episodes of ABC’s “Secret Millionaire”, I was primed and ready, already seeking after these thoughts of leaving a legacy. One of the things that Covey so eloquently teaches is to be living our legacy NOW. Not when we die and leave behind money or possessions. But to have our lives be a living legacy of goodness, of service in this present moment.
So consider this – what is your legacy? What do you want it to be? What do I want it to be for me? How do I/we want to contribute to the planet?
These are deep questions and we may not know the answers right now. Yet, I do believe they are so very valuable to ponder and consider for ourselves. We often hear that life is short. We are reminded of that as we read or hear of someone’s passing. It’s that little reminder each time that there will be a day for all of us to leave this life and begin a new adventure known as death. When we are in the daily grind, just keeping up with all the life stuff – laundry, school work, television, our careers – it’s easy to forget the preciousness of life. But indeed it is precious – YOU are precious – and there will never be another YOU on this planet ever.
So what will you choose to contribute while you’re here? What makes your heart sing? What brings you joy? Those are great starting points to being on purpose and therefore, contributing to a living legacy.
Here are two thoughts that I especially love and believe in my heart to be true guiding principles in discovering your life purpose and ultimately your legacy:
“Your life purpose will be found in service.” – Wayne Dyer
“When what brings you joy meets the need of humanity is where you will find your calling.” – Parker Palmer
I do believe that our purpose and our legacy will bring us joy – this is tip #1.
I do believe that our purpose and ultimately our joy will be rooted in service of others – this is tip #2.
Think about it.
Your list of what you’re drawn to, truly passionate about is bigger than making the bills, keeping up with the laundry, or losing those last stubborn 10 pounds. I would guess that as a fellow spiritual traveler on this path in a skin suit, I know that under the distractions and stressors of life, your heart and your soul know this to be true.
I believe Tagore was so divinely inspired when he penned,
“I dreamt and I saw that life was joy.
I awoke and saw that life was service.
I acted, and behold, service was joy.”
I personally love this quote also found in the 7 Habits,
“Service is the rent we pay for living upon the earth.” – N. Eldon Tanner
I too have seen that service is joy in my own life. I know that when I’m stressed out or in challenging times that when I focus on serving someone else, it always brings me higher too. I know that when I show up in sales conversation focused on serving the prospect or client, that I have joy in that process – when I don’t and it’s all about the sale, it’s stressful and lacking joy.
Service is a way of living our legacy in all that we do. And I also know that it shows up in a variety of shapes and forms. It may be that your service is working at a soup kitchen once a week. It may be a humanitarian trip to Africa or abroad. It’s also in many simple things like praying or sending kind thoughts to someone we know or a complete stranger. It may be buying someone’s coffee in the car line behind you. It could be opening a door for someone with full hands. It may be choosing to offer a compliment. It could also be choosing to give someone else the benefit of the doubt within our own home or office team when they show up grumpy, late, or seemed to be “thoughtless” of us. When I speak to service, there isn’t one particular way of what that means. For some of you, you are called to serve in medicine. For others, you are meant to teach children. And for others, you have the gift of making others laugh, or have hope, or confidence or whatever it may be. It’s the same principle manifested in different ways. All are of great value.
My point in writing this post to you today is because first of all, it’s been on my brain for three weeks straight and it hasn’t gone away until now when I’ve sat down to write it. Funny how that intuition just keeps knocking until you answer the call! And secondly, I think that for myself I’ve learned it’s valuable to our lives and our happiness to do the life inventory from time to time and ask of ourselves really good questions. These questions create discovery, insight, and importantly to our highest self, our soul, connecting us to our purpose – the juicy of the juicy that gives life meaning, value, courage, strength, and HOPE.
You have a purpose.
You have great value.
You are the only you on this planet equipped with thoughts, and skills, and experiences that are solely yours.
You have gifts to contribute. Please do so.
So what brings you joy?
What lights up your heart and soul?
In what ways does service speak to you?
How do you want to contribute in your life?
Let us be about the call to be a living legacy in the here and now.
As long as we’re alive, there will be change involved. As long as change is involved, fear & discomfort will be felt at times. It’s normal and to be expected. Knowing this can help empower you on your path rather than throwing you off course.
Consider this, anytime you’re changing what is FAMILIAR to you, it will likely feel uncomfortable or simply unfamiliar, in other words, leaving the comfort zone. Now even if you’re sick & tired of something in your life and you’re changing it, you’ll still likely experience some degree of fear or discomfort. See, to the subconscious mind, you’re changing certainty and certainty equates to safety – which is the top priority to the subconscious mind. It’s almost as if you’re sending up smoke signals to the subconscious mind to be on the lookout of this new terrain you’re entering.
It might be a new relationship, new career path, health changes…it could also show up when you’re growing your business or doubling your income. Whether you see the change as positive or negative, the fact that you’re changing the familiar and certain, you will provoke feelings of discomfort.
So what to do when those uncomfortable feelings show up?
Here’s a few things that I utilize to help me:
Get Curious. What’s this about? I like to get curious about my fear and poke around to see what is creating it. I like to take the observer or similar to the reporter and ask more questions versus freeze or shutdown. Get curious about the feelings versus taking them as fact. Feelings are not facts – they’re simply indicators and/or teachers.
Get Moving. Many times changing up my environment and/or getting my body moving helps me release the fear energy and clear my head. It can help to shift your focus and the fear versus staying stagnate or stuck in it. There are many benefits to exercise, specifically the natural endorphins that the body produces that create a calming effect.
Get Support. Having a coach, friend, or accountability partner who you can talk and connect with to support you during change is a key success strategy. Having outside insight that you respect as well as the social support to be your cheering squad will help significantly with staying the course of your goals and working through your fear versus being stopped by it.
I also like to: pray, meditate, read, utilize essential oils, eat healthier foods, journal, listening to uplifting music, do things that bring me joy, go hiking, time in nature, workshops, coaching, and time with loved ones.
What’s on your list?
I invite you to create a list of things that support and inspire you as resources to nourish yourself during the uncomfortable feelings.
By recognizing that fear and feelings of discomfort are normal when working through change and new territory, we realize that it’s part of the change process. We no longer have to assume that fear means something is wrong or that it’s a “sign” yet rather more often it’s a sign that you’re human and alive experiencing a normal reaction to change.
If fear is a biggie for you, I recommend the book, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways” by Dr. Susan Jeffers as she covers thoroughly the aspects of fear and how to handle it.
I cheer you on as you take on new changes & new experiences for yourself!