Self Worth = Net Worth

Self Esteem = Success

“You will perform to your self esteem.”

BOOM.

It was nearly 12 years ago when I heard that phrase for the first time. I was a new sales rep in a training class and at the time I first heard that phrase, I thought it was a bit of “psychobabble” talk. I didn’t think too much of it until months later I was living out what my trainer was talking about.

I had ramped up pretty quickly selling coaching for Franklin Covey Coaching and what I used to make in a month, I was now making in a week!! Awesome, right? Yes, except for the fact that I wasn’t used to making that kind of money ….and because that was outside of my comfort zone as well as my identity, I started to struggle…and it started to show up in my sales. Not good.

I hired my first “life coach” and I was introduced for the first time that year to classic books like As a Man Thinketh and Think & Grow Rich. I began to become aware of the power of my thoughts and how I was a shaping my life’s experiences.

And I went to work on the one thing I have control over – Me.

Jim Rohn has said, “your net worth will likely never outperform your self worth.”

Now, you may also think this sounds a bit woo-woo, right? Yet, I’m here to tell you that in my own experience as well as every client I’ve ever coached, we have lived out this truth.

Your self esteem is like your set of fingerprints – they’re on everything you touch: your bank account, your relationships, your health, you name it. It has a direct influence to how we show up in life and the results we’re creating – or sabotaging.

The good news? You can build your confidence & self esteem like any other muscle to make it stronger and healthier in your life. You also can go to work on you, which in turn will go to work on your sales.

Consider this – do you treat yourself like a top priority in your life? Do you cheer yourself on or tear yourself down? Do you put everyone else first and yourself last, or not at all?

Quick Inventory: Where would you rate your current level of self esteem?

Now, ask yourself, what’s one thing I can do to improve it? Begin doing it immediately! Part of building great self esteem is trusting ourselves and taking action on what our heart or intuition guides us to do.

This topic is deep and broad and we could literally do a 3 day workshop just on self esteem together. To help you get started on a path to enhancing your self esteem and therefore your results, consider these few insights to support you:

1. Trust. Self confidence comes from having a deep sense of trust within ourselves. Do you trust yourself? If no, can you forgive yourself and commit to repairing trust within you? Stephen Covey teaches that the fastest way to build trust with ourselves and others is “to make and keep commitments”…whereas the opposite is also true. Every time we make and break commitments, we erode trust. Tighten up your word with yourself so you feel confident that you’re in integrity with the boss – you!

2. Self Care. Do you take time to exercise, get good sleep, pray or meditate – or any other activity that helps your physical and emotional well being? Do you make time for you? If not, begin with 15 minutes per day to start investing in you. This simple practice will add up to a big deal.

3. Date Yourself. (I loved typing that by the way!) What I call a “Joy List”, choose to do at least one thing a week that is just for you – a massage, a game of golf, hiking, baking your favorite treat – whatever brings you joy on any level, free to expensive, that brings you a sense of joy to your life. Ideally you do something daily or multiple times a week, but at least begin with one a week. You are responsible for your happiness – so go create it!

When our BEHAVIOR backs up the BELIEF that we’re valuable and deserving, amazing things happen. Affirmations without action are simply “make believe.” If your behavior doesn’t align with the belief that you’re fabulous, worthy, valuable, etc then you’ll struggle to really believe it and live it.

Coaching Assignment:

Create your own joy list whether on a note pad, your laptop, or smart phone – begin adding things to it as you go that bring you joy – and then do them! Begin this week with doing at least one thing for yourself that brings you joy.

Whether you start small or go big, make yourself and your self esteem a top priority in your life. You’ll not only feel better, but you’ll also attract better results to you.

Cheering you on!

Tiffany

The Heavy Heart…

The Heavy Heart…(originally written & emailed to my database on December 23, 2011)

Perhaps right now, your heart is aching. You may be facing great uncertainty in your life, your finances, your marriage, health, or career. Your circumstances may find you currently out of work or behind on your bills. You may be feeling lonely and unloved. Or you feel overwhelmed and frazzled and Christmas has become one more source of stress versus joy.

If I may, I’d like to speak directly to the heavy hearted this Christmas season. Last night as I was going to bed, I had the clear impression and inspiration to write this email. I thought it interesting considering it wasn’t planned nor the traditional holiday wishes. Yet, it was clear and inspired so here it is.

I too know what it’s like to have a Christmas where your heart is breaking. Where you feel so alone, scared, unsure, or simply without the joy of Christmas in your heart. Years ago at Christmas, I found my marriage in shambles and my heart broken. As one who typically loves the holidays with great passion, that year I couldn’t wait for December 26th to get here. I was sad, scared, and really unsure of where my life was going. Yet in the midst of that darkness, there were many glimmers of hope and light from God, angels, and dear family and friends – if I chose to see them. It was a time of great seeking and searching to know what to do, where to turn, and what choices to make. And in that searching, I did experience many choice spiritual experiences that touched my heart in a profound way.

Although I may not know the details of what you’re going through, I do know the following truths apply to you, your life and potential, and what is available to you.

  1. You are never alone. Ever. No matter what it “feels” like, you are not alone. You have a Maker who knows you and your needs and who loves and cares for you. You are always surrounded by LOVE and you are being watched over.
  2. God/Universe/Angels wait to assist you to guide your path and your decisions. They can never force anything so it is up to us to ask for their divine help and direction. They are always available, no matter where you’re at or the struggles you’re facing.
  3. From our greatest struggles can come our greatest strengths. There are lessons within your challenges. Go to meditation, prayer, or reflection and ask yourself, “What is this here to teach me? What is the gift of this?” As Napoleon Hill once taught, “With every adversity is the seed of greater opportunity.” There are gems for you where you are right now, even if you can’t see them just yet.
  4. Focus on what you are grateful for right now, no matter how small it may seem. Gratitude changes our heart and our mindset. It helps us to see the bright, glimmers of hope and goodness and in doing so, it can help your heavy heart feel lighter.
  5. “The best way to heal a broken heart is to serve others.” I heard this advice in the thick of my heavy hearted season. It was simple, true, and profound for me. It’s been said that when we lift others, we lift ourselves. I find this to be true. Reach out to someone else – offer a compliment, offer to help, buy their coffee in line, or some other gesture that serves someone else. When we focus on helping others, we do help ourselves.
  6. Finally, increase your self care. Watch your favorite movie or cuddle up with a good book. Take a hot bath or make your favorite treat. Increase doing kind things for yourself that bring you joy or happiness. When our hearts our heavy, it’s important to be kind and loving towards ourselves.

The true spirit of Christmas or the spirit of the Season as you may say, is about a special feeling, about love, about a certain attitude more than it is about anything external. If you look for it, through the darkness and sadness you may be feeling right now, there are embers of hope, love, and peace within.

I promise you that LIFE has great things in store for you. I promise you that you will not always feel so heavy hearted. I promise you that your Maker is with you, even now, to comfort you and guide your steps. There will be seasons of joy for you.

If this speaks to you, if this was written for you, I send a prayer for you with this email that you may feel hope and love within these words and within your heart this day.

Bless you, sweet warrior. You have what it takes to prevail and you will get through whatever you’re facing.

With great love for you,

Tiffany

 

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