Does FEAR hold you back?

  As long as we’re alive, there will be change involved. As long as change is involved, fear & discomfort will be felt at times. It’s normal and to be expected. Knowing this can help empower you on your path rather than throwing you off course.

Consider this, anytime you’re changing what is FAMILIAR to you, it will likely feel uncomfortable or simply unfamiliar, in other words, leaving the comfort zone. Now even if you’re sick & tired of something in your life and you’re changing it, you’ll still likely experience some degree of fear or discomfort. See, to the subconscious mind, you’re changing certainty and certainty equates to safety – which is the top priority to the subconscious mind. It’s almost as if you’re sending up smoke signals to the subconscious mind to be on the lookout of this new terrain you’re entering.

It might be a new relationship, new career path, health changes…it could also show up when you’re growing your business or doubling your income. Whether you see the change as positive or negative, the fact that you’re changing the familiar and certain, you will provoke feelings of discomfort.

So what to do when those uncomfortable feelings show up?

Here’s a few things that I utilize to help me:

  1. Get Curious. What’s this about? I like to get curious about my fear and poke around to see what is creating it. I like to take the observer or similar to the reporter and ask more questions versus freeze or shutdown. Get curious about the feelings versus taking them as fact. Feelings are not facts – they’re simply indicators and/or teachers.
  2. Get Moving. Many times changing up my environment and/or getting my body moving helps me release the fear energy and clear my head. It can help to shift your focus and the fear versus staying stagnate or stuck in it. There are many benefits to exercise, specifically the natural endorphins that the body produces that create a calming effect.
  3. Get Support. Having a coach, friend, or accountability partner who you can talk and connect with to support you during change is a key success strategy. Having outside insight that you respect as well as the social support to be your cheering squad will help significantly with staying the course of your goals and working through your fear versus being stopped by it.

I also like to: pray, meditate, read, utilize essential oils, eat healthier foods, journal, listening to uplifting music, do things that bring me joy, go hiking, time in nature, workshops, coaching, and time with loved ones.

What’s on your list?

I invite you to create a list of things that support and inspire you as resources to nourish yourself during the uncomfortable feelings.

By recognizing that fear and feelings of discomfort are normal when working through change and new territory, we realize that it’s part of the change process. We no longer have to assume that fear means something is wrong or that it’s a “sign” yet rather more often it’s a sign that you’re human and alive experiencing a normal reaction to change.

If fear is a biggie for you, I recommend the book, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways” by Dr. Susan Jeffers as she covers thoroughly the aspects of fear and how to handle it.

I cheer you on as you take on new changes & new experiences for yourself!

The Heavy Heart…

The Heavy Heart…(originally written & emailed to my database on December 23, 2011)

Perhaps right now, your heart is aching. You may be facing great uncertainty in your life, your finances, your marriage, health, or career. Your circumstances may find you currently out of work or behind on your bills. You may be feeling lonely and unloved. Or you feel overwhelmed and frazzled and Christmas has become one more source of stress versus joy.

If I may, I’d like to speak directly to the heavy hearted this Christmas season. Last night as I was going to bed, I had the clear impression and inspiration to write this email. I thought it interesting considering it wasn’t planned nor the traditional holiday wishes. Yet, it was clear and inspired so here it is.

I too know what it’s like to have a Christmas where your heart is breaking. Where you feel so alone, scared, unsure, or simply without the joy of Christmas in your heart. Years ago at Christmas, I found my marriage in shambles and my heart broken. As one who typically loves the holidays with great passion, that year I couldn’t wait for December 26th to get here. I was sad, scared, and really unsure of where my life was going. Yet in the midst of that darkness, there were many glimmers of hope and light from God, angels, and dear family and friends – if I chose to see them. It was a time of great seeking and searching to know what to do, where to turn, and what choices to make. And in that searching, I did experience many choice spiritual experiences that touched my heart in a profound way.

Although I may not know the details of what you’re going through, I do know the following truths apply to you, your life and potential, and what is available to you.

  1. You are never alone. Ever. No matter what it “feels” like, you are not alone. You have a Maker who knows you and your needs and who loves and cares for you. You are always surrounded by LOVE and you are being watched over.
  2. God/Universe/Angels wait to assist you to guide your path and your decisions. They can never force anything so it is up to us to ask for their divine help and direction. They are always available, no matter where you’re at or the struggles you’re facing.
  3. From our greatest struggles can come our greatest strengths. There are lessons within your challenges. Go to meditation, prayer, or reflection and ask yourself, “What is this here to teach me? What is the gift of this?” As Napoleon Hill once taught, “With every adversity is the seed of greater opportunity.” There are gems for you where you are right now, even if you can’t see them just yet.
  4. Focus on what you are grateful for right now, no matter how small it may seem. Gratitude changes our heart and our mindset. It helps us to see the bright, glimmers of hope and goodness and in doing so, it can help your heavy heart feel lighter.
  5. “The best way to heal a broken heart is to serve others.” I heard this advice in the thick of my heavy hearted season. It was simple, true, and profound for me. It’s been said that when we lift others, we lift ourselves. I find this to be true. Reach out to someone else – offer a compliment, offer to help, buy their coffee in line, or some other gesture that serves someone else. When we focus on helping others, we do help ourselves.
  6. Finally, increase your self care. Watch your favorite movie or cuddle up with a good book. Take a hot bath or make your favorite treat. Increase doing kind things for yourself that bring you joy or happiness. When our hearts our heavy, it’s important to be kind and loving towards ourselves.

The true spirit of Christmas or the spirit of the Season as you may say, is about a special feeling, about love, about a certain attitude more than it is about anything external. If you look for it, through the darkness and sadness you may be feeling right now, there are embers of hope, love, and peace within.

I promise you that LIFE has great things in store for you. I promise you that you will not always feel so heavy hearted. I promise you that your Maker is with you, even now, to comfort you and guide your steps. There will be seasons of joy for you.

If this speaks to you, if this was written for you, I send a prayer for you with this email that you may feel hope and love within these words and within your heart this day.

Bless you, sweet warrior. You have what it takes to prevail and you will get through whatever you’re facing.

With great love for you,

Tiffany

 

Copyright © 2018 · The Lighthouse Principles

Powered by WishList Member - Membership Site Software